Say what? 10 Insulting Assumptions That Make Older People Furious

Stan A. Goldberg Ph.D., July 6, 2024

Key points

• With aging along with arthritis comes wisdom.
• Older people may take longer to process information but along with it comes greater understanding.
• We often loath that which we fear the most of becoming. Aging is right up there at the top.
• The clarity of thinking has nothing to do with the speed of motor behaviors.

Top 10 Insults of Old People

1. They are uninformed. Not knowing the names of the latest Oscar nominees does not mean we are uninformed. "Uninformed" is not understanding why Korea was partitioned. Though we forget names, we remember the complexities of living those who are younger are still struggling to comprehend.
2. Once the body goes, the mind follows. Moving slowly does not mean we have lost our marbles. Check out any book written by Stephen Hawking.
3. They’ve lost the capacity to be intimate. Our ability to love is not diminished by age, nor is it confined to what happens below the belt. Intimacy with age takes on different forms.
4. They’re going deaf, so speak loudly and slowly. We may not hear well, but we know how to listen and when to remain silent.
5. They’re always cranky. We do get cranky. Do not take it personally—physical pain and understanding the inevitability of aging have that effect.
6. The elderly need guidance. Do not treat us as children, no matter how much our bodies are failing or how long it takes to process information. We may not think as quickly as we once did, but the quality of our deliberations and the depth of our insights are undiminished. You might understand this in ten or twenty years.
7. They glory in their dependency. We do not become dependent to make your life miserable. We are more reluctant to ask for help than people are willing to give it.
8. They can’t make decisions on their own. We have made important decisions throughout our lives. Even some—believe it or not—that had a very positive effect on the lives of others--including you. Allow us the dignity of continuing to make decisions, at least for ourselves.
9. Their knowledge is outdated. In this fast-paced digital, cyber-connected, social-mediatized world, you may believe that our knowledge is irrelevant. But our wisdom, just as it has been since the beginning of time, is not. It comes from living.
10. They behave strangely. Our attitudes and behaviors are the products of our history. So, when we say or do something you do not understand, do not dismiss it out of hand, cut us some slack. After all dudes, we're old.
    
    Your Gray Matter’s point of view… study the insults and make sure that they don’t apply to you.