Great advice from the New York Times columnist Roxane Gay
Roxane Gay answers work-related questions for the New York Times, we found her October 28, 2023 column interesting and relevant. Read on! 👇
Q: I’m a 60-year-old white woman who has been at my company for over 20 years. I used to think I was a good manager. I understood the organization and my role in it. I was good at developing staff and setting them up to succeed. I loved my job.
Since 2020, I’ve become increasingly unsure and exhausted. So many company policies have changed over the past three-plus years, I barely recognize the place. The work culture I thrived in no longer exists. Most days, I sit alone in my office, in a mostly empty building, taking virtual meetings, and wondering what I’m doing here.
I may never meet some of my newer staff and colleagues in person. Many of my co-workers and supervisees seem to feel some combination of entitled, indifferent or judgmental. While I hold strongly progressive views, younger staff assume I’m a “Karen” and have no problem correcting me when they think something I have done or said (or even an emoji) does not meet their standard. I no longer know how to connect with them.
I am not yet eligible to retire, unlikely at my age to find another job that pays nearly as well and not cut out for quiet quitting. I remind myself daily that I am lucky and privileged in many ways. But I am drowning. How can I remain relevant in this strange new world?
— Anonymous
A: A strange new world isn’t a bad thing and you are relevant here, there, anywhere. I completely understand how you’re feeling. Mourn the workplace that once was, but also think through how you can move forward. Are there any other colleagues in your age group with whom you can commiserate? Is remote work at all appealing so you’re not sitting alone in an empty office?
Though you may not share physical space with your colleagues, you do engage with them.
1️⃣ Is there a company Slack or similar communication tool where you can get to know your younger colleagues better?
2️⃣ What about going out for lunch or coffee with new co-workers to introduce yourself and learn more about them?
Just because many of us are working remotely doesn’t mean we can’t have face-to-face experiences and strong connections. Why do you find some of your younger colleagues entitled, indifferent or judgmental? Are they those things, or are they working with a different cultural vernacular?
'3️⃣ When they correct you, what are some ways you could make it a conversation? You can ask why they take issue with something you’ve said. You can share your perspective on why you said or did something.
They won’t always be right, nor will they always be wrong. Generational divides can be bridged, but the people on either side of that distance have to be willing to meet halfway.